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Wednesday, June 5th, 2002
6:24 pm - ...
WHAT????

(7 harnannen | harno)

1:48 am
I woke up this morning and discovered that my limbs were frozen. It would occur to you to manipulate your hand to pick up that cigarette and breathe all that lovely ammonia and nicotine into your lungs filled with grey spots and holes but you discover that your hand is frozen still. Why? Part of your brain has closed shut. Snapped shut. That left arm is permanently perched upon the blanket fold unable to be manipulated. A dull feeling creeps through your entire body and your bones are dipped in a muted ache. Then your legs are pulled into sharp sticks with knees jutting out into space and you can't move them. Your knees are locked in that position facing the window, sharp bones sticking out of blanket. You face the clock with hands resting on ten and five and feel your face grow still. Blink again and the clock hands rest on three and fifteen. Where did five hours and ten minutes go? Was I sleeping?

There's bite marks on my arm as if they were stenciled reading T-I-N-D-O-M-I-E-L. My other arm is a mess of black thread and F-A-R-A-M-I-R.

I want my skin to stretch across my face so tightly that I can't breathe. I want to know what happened in that five hours and ten minutes which I can't recall. I want to know what drove me to leave home and drain me of desire to ever go back again. Why do people leave me? Because it's my fault. Who pulls the blanket up to my neck when I'm in bed? What did I do to deserve a warm body beside me everyday? Why do my fingers go numb when my brain seems to shutter.

I'm very tired.

(37 harnannen | harno)

Tuesday, June 4th, 2002
10:31 pm - heh.


This elf is staring at me. Who is he?

current mood: rather confused

(26 harnannen | harno)

Sunday, June 2nd, 2002
8:20 pm - *clears throat*
COMMENCING HEAD SMASHING AGAINST WALL:

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord;
*SMASH*
he is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored;
*SMASH*
he hath loosed the fateful lightning of his terrible swift sword;
*SMASH*
his truth is marching on.
*SMASH*
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! *SMASH* Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! *SMASH*
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! *SMASH* His truth is marching on. *SMASH*

I have seen him in the watch fires of a hundred circling camps
*SMASH*
they have builded him an altar in the evening dews and damps;
*SMASH*
I can read his righteous sentence by the dim and flaring lamps;
*SMASH*
his day is marching on.
*SMASH*
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! *SMASH* Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! *SMASH*
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! *SMASH* His day is marching on. *SMASH*

*collapses*

current mood: concussion

(32 harnannen | harno)

Friday, May 31st, 2002
10:15 pm
TINDOOOOOOOOMIEL COME BACK!!!!!! I made dinner for all of us. See? I'm eating!!! Come back. :(

(32 harnannen | harno)

8:21 pm - FARAMIR WITH A BEAR.


Thanks, Danielle. :D

(7 harnannen | harno)

5:24 pm
AAAIIIIIIIIII FARAMIR IS BACK IN ICELAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

current mood: fucking glory and happiness

(10 harnannen | harno)

Wednesday, May 29th, 2002
9:03 pm - whee
I have something to say. No, not really, although I do believe that this fucker here is stealing some of me. It makes me scared. It frightens me. Because he's supposed to be the paranoid one who falls to the ground in epileptic fits and I'm not supposed to be. But I am. Here, on the ground, convulsing, cold sweat seeping out of my pores and wondering what did I ever do to want to destroy myself so much. It just seems that I should - that people don't deserve to have me take out my frustrations upon them, and that it makes more sense (and is less harmful for others) for me to harm myself. Although I don't even see it as harming. It's healing. With a razorblade digging into bone and gristle, I feel better. I enjoy seeing the blood pour out. It amuses me where nothing else really does. And it's my own body, and as long as I'm conscious, I can do whatever I wish to it. I could shove grenades in my mouth, I could suck upon an exhaust pipe, I could gather a noose and loop it around my neck - it's mine. I've killed myself before, and there's a million ways to die.
Not that I'm considering death again.
But you can't help it if you croak by accident, now can you?

Consider autoerotic asphyxiation.

current mood: epileptic

(41 harnannen | harno)

Tuesday, May 28th, 2002
12:14 am - old shit
When I tried to kill Elrohir for the first time and was going to be sent to the Houses of Healing.

I can't fucking remember what this was on about. But it includes an exchange between me and Faramir which was suggestive. Wow.

My grandpa's first revelation of me.

When I was obsessed with pi.

When me and Faramir enjoyed fighting.

Sauron would've looked cool as Quasimodo.

That's all.

(10 harnannen | harno)

Monday, May 27th, 2002
8:52 pm - richey edwards, virus thingy, right
::puts on eyeliner::

::wears wedding dress::

::puts grenade in mouth::

::carves 4REAL in arm::

::becomes anorexic::

::is put away in mental hospital::

::continues to cut self::

::disappears and is never heard of again::

Well, that was refreshing.

(2 harnannen | harno)

7:33 pm - HULLO
I am back.

Who knew that there was a poster of Tindomiel outside of the Bellagio hotel in Las Vegas? Certainly not me.

Let me tell you all a story. I've been alive for, how long? Thousands of thousands of years, right. And Professor T recorded what I had done (which was standing there mute next to my brother Elrohir) in those big fat old glory days when being of the house of Elrond was an honour in itself, etc etc etc. Around the 19th century, I decided that I was fed up with the life of being a Lord in Rivendell, prancing around nude underneath robes solemnly walking in the gardens, striking down orcs when I saw fit, impaling them, eviscerating their slimy bodies, pulling out entrails, jumping rope with their intestine, slapping Glorfindel's rear end with orc lungs... no, I decided I got tired of that. So I went into the real world. Some Spaniard had 'discovered' the Grand Canyon and I decided to head in that general direction. I was going to find the Yeti. I was going to find Bigfoot. I was going to do and find all these things hundreds of years before Thomomir could fall upon these creatures and have his own little fellowship of giants and midgets and blood-sucking rats. What did I find? Rashes. I found the irritating, curse and damnation of getting a fucking rash on your neverneverland regions and found myself stuck with these horrible red flamed skin areas without the counsel of my father, even though he probably healed me through every disease and wound I have ever contracted only to keep me clean for my twin brother.
Anyway.
Luckily I found natives who were fascinated enough by my pointed ears and I avoided an attempt at being scalped. Not that I would've let them succeed in their attempts at scalping me. Of course I was also ingesting some sort of cacti at the time and I believed that I was growing fur on my feet and my eyes turning an unsightly shape of glass-like blue, but that's something else.
What was I saying? I was not running away from home just to avoid my brother whose presence was making me uncomfortable. That was before I even considered fratricide. At that time he looked too much like me for me to do away with him. What I just realised was this: Tindomiel has Wolfgang's nose and Elrohir's ears. She looks like she's related to me. That's pretty fucking amusing.
Digressing.
I had found a body on the floor of the Grand Canyon. It was a female who resembled a flea if this blood-engorged flea could wear blue calico dresses and was smashed flat with a hammer. I was hungry, so I ate her. She had a suicide note that said, 'He loved me not, and I must do away with myself' or some shit like that. She tasted like venison. I ate her with gunpowder. Then again, it could've been venison, or it could've been a fish that I ate, or it could've just been more of that cactus, I'm not quite sure.
Don't eat cacti. It'll make you forget things.

In my absence, I listened to approximately six hours of Faramir continuously whilst looking out upon Arizona landscape, at the feet of trees fireants and termites and blood-curdling diseases. I am in love.

I saw someone who had a wound on their leg and allowed maggots to fester on their leg for weeks. Apparently maggots have healing qualities beneficial to healing wounds or something. I wonder what would happen if I cut myself open again and allow the white insects to form and live on my body.

(12 harnannen | harno)

Friday, May 24th, 2002
11:50 pm - haha
Celegorm caught the bouquet at Finrod and Amarie's wedding. Hehehe. Which brings me to:

PHOTO TIME!Collapse )

(28 harnannen | harno)

Thursday, May 23rd, 2002
10:26 pm
....

::weeps::

::weeps some more::

::has sex with Faramir::

::weeps::

(2 harnannen | harno)

8:59 am - etc
Tindomiel practically bought me a supermarket. Which was very very kind of her but I'm wondering now if I should even consider consuming any bit of it. I can't sit on hard surfaces because I can feel bone grazing against concrete and it hurts. And it gives you this very comfortable feeling day by day seeing your bones suck your skin closer to itself. And you enjoy your face becoming more hollow. You feel more pure that way because all the excess fat you've consumed drops from you slowly, all the pieces of your body that are unwanted leaves.
Again, a foot shoved into a dirty shoe, sweat collecting at the crevices, an impenetratable itch in the heel as you rub rubber against ridges in grey cement, tiny stone catching light and piercing your eyes scratch at the itch with nails that aren't there - they've been bitten off between teeth and sucked into bellies - scratch in vain attempt to rub away skin layer by layer, flakes falling upon clothing and cement, upon the smooth canvas and rubber of shoes.
Try in vain to piece together a sentence comprehensible, while picking at skin and dust rises from your arm and settles up on the tiny hairs, tiny fruit trees bearing runaway cells, blow and the fruit floats away in the air, only to be sucked in through nostril, into lungs and large body cavities - belonging to strangers.
People breathe in particles of you inside their bodies. You have tiny bits of skin, pollen, the odour of feces and rotten bread inside your body. You could bind adheisive to your skin and lift away all the dead cells only to be sucked back into your lungs.

skin cells.
boy oh boy do i love eating human skin cells.
my tongue flicks against my fingers as i'm biting my nails down to raw stumps, emitting blood.
i chomp on my arm and i eat skin cells.
skin cells. i love skin cells.
so tasty. on a flaky day, i scrape some into a salt shaker for that extra special taste in my ramen.
males love to eat skin cells off of breasts and other blood-engorged regions. i assure you that they do!
when no one's looking, i lick my hands and taste all the handshakes of today. i like to feel the dna and the germs of people i met in my mouth. it makes me feel more of a member of humanity. makes you think, eh? skin cells. human skin cells. how i love them.


Tindomiel has really nice limbs. I would like to be her.

(11 harnannen | harno)

Tuesday, May 21st, 2002
5:48 pm - AHAHahahAHAHA
ahemCollapse )

current mood: giggle giggle

(36 harnannen | harno)

Monday, May 20th, 2002
12:40 am
::remembers this::

The power of the icon and the NME overshadows all canon.

Now I'm off! A quest to find a sufficient blade that I can sever my limbs with!

(29 harnannen | harno)

Sunday, May 19th, 2002
10:33 pm - alack! i think i remember something!
?????

?!!??!!!

current mood: oddness

(harno)

9:43 pm - ::twitch::


current mood: ::twitch::

(harno)

8:22 pm
I WANNA GO TO THE GREY HAVENS
I WANNA GO TO THE GREY HAVENS
I WANNA GO TO THE GREY HAVENS
I WANNA GO TO THE GREY HAVENS
I WANNA GO TO THE GREY HAVENS
I WANNA GO TO THE GREY HAVENS
I WANNA GO TO THE GREY HAVENS
I WANNA GO TO THE GREY HAVENS
I WANNA GO TO THE GREY HAVENS
I WANNA GO TO THE GREY HAVENS
I WANNA GO TO THE GREY HAVENS
I WANNA GO TO THE GREY HAVENS
I WANNA GO TO THE GREY HAVENS
I WANNA GO TO THE GREY HAVENS
I WANNA GO TO THE GREY HAVENS
I WANNA GO TO THE GREY HAVENS
I DON'T WANNA HAVE SEX WITH ELROHIR
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(harno)

6:27 pm - canononical, right.
Er.

::gallops around in a horse::

::keeps silent as Elrohir talks for me::

::goes off in the forest and slit my wrists open::

::quickly bandages them so that no one notices::

::gallops off with Elrohir again::

::etc etc etc::

O Elbereth, I can't stand this shit.

::shoots self in groin::

(71 harnannen | harno)


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